How to be effective when other people suck

Following, my brief but effective suggestions for what to do when nasty people cross your path without becoming one yourself.

1) Vice for four days. Sleep all day, drink until you puke, smoke cigarettes like a widowed cat lady at Bingo–indulge in whatever self-pain inflicting weakness you need to that makes you feel like the world ain’t so bad after all ,and do it for four days. Then, Art of War-talk yourself and get back to the business of being a grown up. You’re a soldier and soldiers need strong lungs.

2) Eat food. The most beautiful silver lining I find whenever I’m in mental shut-down-mode is my body’s ability to take care of itself. Your head will catch up eventually.

3) Avoid the urge to get all Taylor Swifty up and in here and channel the Beyonce. Yo’ mama taught you better than that. We don’t need anymore anthems about why lying sucks, we need more anthems about how to rise above the hurt it causes and be more proactive against it in the first place.

4) Wear high heels. If you’re going to move forward, might as well feel sexy while doing it. Time heals most pain, including sore feet.

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