“All I Ask Of You” is to throw out your trash. Also, it’s surprisingly sad to see sheet music lost on the street. š
Sick burn.
Though “I heart cock” is a regular staple of bathroom graffiti, this helpful Crock Pot edit is new to me! Great work, team. Plus, we all know Crock Pot could use as much re-branding help as possible.
Well, you’ll live. You just might not enjoy it as much as if you weren’t so worried about it all.
Um, OK, but when is “close”? File under “super unhelpful.”
And these bears look pissed about it. No picnics in da club, lil buds!
I’m sad this place is closed. Not only is Salt ‘n Pepper Diner, like, the cutest diner name, but “Seasoned 1965”? Spicy word choices all around!
Poet Forugh Farrokhzad is credited with sparking the feminist movement in Iran, and her poetry has been likened to the mournful style of Sylvia Plath — women ahead of their time trying to fly with broken wings. This new novel uses Farrokhzad’s journals, interviews, poetry, and private writings to fictionally reconstruct the life of this revolutionary woman and writer.
After Beatrice Ousterhout finds the body of a young girl while out for a walk with her dog, her police detective daughter, Jes, works the case. Jes unravels as the case unfolds. Will she reveal to Beatrice the secret about her father that threatens to undo her completely? (Stay tuned this month for an interview with the author Cynthia!)
I spotted this inclusive “guide to growing up” for girls in the New Non-fiction section of my library. As I celebrate my 32nd birthday this month, I’d say I’m pretty far past needing some of its advice, which includes sections on male and female anatomy; coming out; accepting rejection and staying safe online; body issues; love and sex; and so much more. That being said, I think there’s so much to learn from Karen Rayne’s thoughtful and informed voice and subject mater. I hope this work colors future discussions about sex education for girls and boys alike.
“We need tens if you have any.” As seen at Nibbles, a gas station food stand somewhere in Michigan.
New life in a casino. Quite a different crowd than the hay barn days.
A bum machine at FireKeepers Casino. Get it? “Firing”? š
(I also like that that needed to explain below “out of order” in case someone didn’t get it…)
PSA: Bath towels can’t swim. From the hotel room at FireKeepers.
Nonla Burger in Kalamazoo. I love all of these words. Including Nonla and Kalamazoo.
Decor at Nonla = old ads. “Take home big profits… with a Snack Kar.” Beat it, food trucks.
“Better than the movies! This young couple partakes of a little front-seat romance. In later years many drive-in theaters came to be known as ‘passion pits,’ as they were the only place teenagers could be alone. Archive Photos”
Passion pits!
So please stop asking the barista, OK?!
Roast coffee. Make cheese. Live free. Window shop.
I’d like to meet this Jose, of the Jose sign.
An artist’s last name that someone should co-opt for a villainous character they’re writing.
This could be read two ways. Luckily the city is not refusing.
Not just haircut. A cool haircut.
Some Cracker Barrel selections. Its got moxie, ya see!
Made U Look. See also: Russian Tea Time.
Doctor’s office sign, after hours. The variety of electric light signage in Chicago is a visual culture in and of itself.
Eve uses poetry, visual art and narrative prose to explore black girlhood and America’s unique injustices toward people of color, taking readers from the streets of ’90s Chicago where she grew up to a future yet to be determined. How will we determine it?
Hanif is a Columbus kid! He writes about this Midwestern life (with shoutouts to Columbus and Chicago alike), music, and so, so much more in this book published by Two Dollar Radio. I remember watching Hanif perform slam poetry while I lived in Columbus and being blown away at how deftly he could cut a sentence. Keep your heart there. Then fly you forward. My Chicago friends, come see him do an author convo with Jessica Hopper (“The First Collection of Criticism By A Living Female Rock Critic”) at Women & Children First next month.
The subtitle here explains it all: How to change the world with your wardrobe. Justin and I have instituted a no-clothes-buying policy until spring. April, to be exact. We’ve set a budget and are working on lists of what we want to buy. It’s been surprisingly relieving to have this self-imposed boundary. I am being very thoughtful about what I want to buy in the spring — not just because of the budget we’ve set but because I want to think of my wardrobe as a whole thing, versus a million cheap little pieces I replace on a whim. Having a shopping strategy has forced me to be more thoughtful about where I buy my clothes too. This book explains the basics of sustainable clothing, fabric and shopping, as well as the general arguments for why fast fashion is harming people and the planet. I don’t expect to change the world, but I hope to live a little more thoughtfully.
The venerable newspaper is proving its digital storytelling could be as revolutionary as the kind that sealed its print legacy. Three films from the paper’s Op-Docs series were nominated in the 90thĀ Academy Awardsā documentary short subject category. Here’s a convenient roundup of all three short films so you can watch them! Theyāre around 15 minutes each and are great for a short commute.
True Story
Speaking of great things to do on a commute: I recently ordered a subscription to True Story and am loving it! This pocket-sized mini-mag features one nonfiction piece a month, selected by the editors of Creative Nonfiction magazine (which I also just subscribed to and am kicking myself for not doing it earlier). The longform narrative medium thatās explored in True Story is a cathartic antidote to the numbing (and dumbing) world of 140 characters and bite-me click-bait headlines.
Black Mirror
The āHang the DJā episode on the new season of Black Mirror
I was perhaps particular to this episode because it is one of the few Black Mirror episodes that didnāt leave me in a state of hives and high anxiety. Or maybe it was because I love the actor Joe Cole so much for his bad-boy-baby-brother role in Peaky Blinders that I think he can do no wrong. Or maybe it was just a happy ending in a dystopian world. Either way, I dig it. Itās on Netflix now.
[schwing!]
The Post
The more I learn about the Pentagon Papers and the heroic story about the presses brave enough to publish them, the more Iām surprised this story isnāt more famous than Watergate. Queen Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks are, of course, perfect (and I loooooved Bob Odenkirk and David Cross as hard and bulbous nosed reporters!), but this new movie worth watching for its tense, well-timed drama and presentation of women who pushed the boundaries of business ownership. Oh, and also, you should know why the press matters and what democratic values can be accomplished when newspapers and the public value good journalism. This film is dripping with media morality. I needed that. Warning: The beautifully shot scenes of newsprint presses churning out issues will make my fellow former journalists cry.
āThe way they lied. Those days have to be over.ā
Oh shit! Go get this book! Tudor’s debut novel is a hell of a ride. Nothing preachy, nothing to learn. Just a good old heart pumpin’ and jumpin’ psychological thriller.
Opposite here: Lots to learn in this baby. Written by an Argentinian writer, I can’t even find it on Goodreads. But my local library recommended it as one of the best of 2017. Indeed, I’ve never had a book affect me physically until I read this one! It’s more than frightening. My skin crawled and itched from about page 20 onward. It had me checking and double bolting the doors. But, alas, the real terror was all around me…
Here’s another one I couldn’t recommend more. I neededĀ to read Jessa Crispin’s argument about how the feminist movement has gotten off course in its attempt to commodify and convince all women they are feminists. I didn’t agree with every point she made, but, as she so convincingly writes, that’s the whole fucking point.
I particularly appreciate her call out of feminist righteousness and how we need to center it back to human rights (ALL human rights, not just female human rights):
āNo one talks about toxic femininity, but certainly if we look at certain feminine modes in contemporary culture, it exists. But we would prefer to think of toxic masculinity as innate, and any problems with womenās behavior as being socially created. Itās convenient. Saying or believing that women are special also, by default, dehumanizes men. If we are special because we are caring, then men must be uncaring. If we are special because we are compassionate and nurturing, then men must be emotionally dead and destructive. And if these qualities are innate, then we can dismiss the entire male gender.āĀ
This book is brutal but brilliant. Proceed with caution, but certainly proceed. Marzano-Lesnevich took ten years to write it and it was worth waiting for. She changes the genre of memoir. “The Fact of a Body” intertwines her story of family secrets, hidden crimes and ignored molestation with the story of a child molester she learns about in law school. What I liked about this book was that it questioned the limits of empathy.Is the death penalty humane? Are there limits to empathy? Should victims be allowed to have that?Ā These are tough and personal questions. But it’s a relief to see someone asking them — and asking them in a new way.
I’ve been on such a Roxane Gay kick lately. This month I’m returning to where I first fell in love with her: in her comforting gray worlds of fictional short storytelling. She’s the best at uncovering darkness and enchanting you to look. No really, look at it. See their scars. These tales are for and about those whom a careless world made brave hearted.
NDT 4-Life! Neil DeGrasse Tyson makes nerding out about the wonders of the universe fun and fast in his latest book. I like how little it feels in my hand. My hand made of stars. š
I did some Google searching and I’m still not sure what this sign means. But it’s definitely attention-getting. Thank you, Charley? I think?
Sometimes it’s hard to see. But love is there.
Remember that!
And that.
When I first read this copy on our monthly electric bill, I thought it meant they would actually come pick up the gross old food containers I have in my fridge or freezer. Ha! Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me to do some cleaning…
This sign hangs on the door to the milking parlor of our family farm.
A helpful reminder on my first commute back to a work gig in the new year. You know, when you don’t even remember what email is.
Today begins 2018. Hello! Yay! I hope your headache wears off soon and you get to eat nachos in bed and watch Netflix! (Might I recommend the new Dave Chappelle specials? Controversial, yes, but those headlines arenāt doing it justice. Perhaps we may all dig deeper this year? Youāll notice the beginning of a theme here.)
I love New Yearās Day. Itās an overachieverās dream holiday. āYou mean, we get to be applauded for our outrageous efforts to do/ achieve/ improve/ get better at whatever it is we dream? We get to spend the whole day setting up lists and spreadsheets and myriad assortment of other technological trackers designed for successfully marking things off our to-do lists?ā
Yasss, bitch! Youāre scratching me right where my neuroses itch. Get. Shit. Done.
Via a Google search for “overachiever problems.”
Iām very aware of the pros and cons of being a ātrophy hunter,ā as Justin calls me. He and I are complete opposites in this area of our lives, so his cāest la vie attitude is very helpful for me when I need to remember the little things matter most and, well, chill the fuck out.
This year, Iām committed to finding a balance between the two. I donāt want to completely give up my go-get-em mentality, but I donāt want it to push me to extremes anymore either–or, more specifically, I donāt want it to push me to extremes on paths that I donāt give a shit about. Do you know what I mean? When you end up *nailing* the 200-word freelance assignment because you spent six hours on it instead of spending a sane and appropriate three hours and channelling your other two hours into researching for a creative essay you want to write.
Thereās gotta be somewhere to rest in the middle, right? Somewhere that I can focus my extremes into achieving my ultimate, singular, soul-igniting goal?
Via a Pinterest search for “overachievers get shit done.”
Well, I think Iāve found a solution. This will be the year in which I attempt the impossible for my extreme perfectionist brain: Consistency.
Hereās an excerpt from my Best Self Co. journal workbook that explains why this works/ why Iām putting faith into trying consistency over achievement:
āIf you want to crush your goals and reach greatness, you must focus on consistent and long-term personal performance.
In the book Great By Choice, author Jim Collins shares the story of two explorers, Amundsen and Scott, who each led separate teams on an expedition race to the South Pole in 1911. The journey there and back was roughly 1,400 miles, which is equivalent to a round-trip from NYC to Chicago.
While both teams would travel the same distance through extremely harsh weather conditions, each took an entirely different approach to the journey.ā
OK PAY ATTENTION THIS IS WHERE THE GOLD CAN BE MINED:
āScottās strategy was to walk as far as possible on the good weather days and then rest up on the bad days to conserve energy. Conversely, Amundsenās team adhered to a strict regimen of consistent progress by walking 20 miles every day–no matter what the weather. On good days, Amundsenās team was very capable of walking further, but Amundsen was adamant they walk no more than 20 miles–to conserve their energy.ā
WHICH TEAM SUCCEEDED? YOU SHOULD KNOW THE ANSWER BY NOW BUT STAY WITH ME:
āIt was Amundsenās because they took consistent action. And this same principle will be true for your goals.ā
We are what repeatedly do, which, like, I know. But this anecdote clicked that knowledge into place somehow. It offers some relief: If I dedicate an hour a day, for example, to writing for my book, or promise to run one mile, and only one mile, every three days at the gym, I take the decision making out of it. It becomes a habit. And, I canāt push my work or goals off to a day when āI feel like itā and then, when I finally āfeel like it,ā feel overwhelmed by the 48 hours of work and 10 miles I expect from myself in one day.
Patience. Restraint. Courage. Thatās whatās going to get me across the finish line. These are skills I havenāt cultivated in my past–and havenāt really needed to. But not knowing how to be truly patient with myself and others and situations has proven a detriment exacerbated by my trophy hunting perfectionism.
Itās probably affected you too, this fast-paced immediacy and expectation of comfort. I think we could all benefit from taking a step back, reading the whole article, watching the special, getting our hot take from something more thoughtful than a tweet, seeking out the facts, embracing the nuance intrinsic in waiting, letting others have opinions different from our own.
See also: We wonāt elect a new, non-idiotic president until 2020.
So buckle up, loves. The life youāll be changing this year is your own–and if you do it right, youāll do it in a way that the change lasts for years to come.
If you’re interested in gender, sexuality, choice and human rights news, sign up for The #MeToo Moment, a new email newsletter produced by The New York Times. It curates stories on these subjects into a streamlined list of reports and has additional content that’s both informative and interesting.
The short story “Cat Person” in The New Yorker
Of course. Of course! The first short fiction story in New Yorker history to go Internet viral is about cats. It’s also about consent, dating, hooking up and connecting with another human during a cultural paradigm shift. Read it or listen to the author read it here!
New music
“Soul of a Woman”Ā is the posthumous Sharon Jones album with her band The Dap-Kings. Listen to all of it. Dance. Swoon. Cry that she’s gone. Smile that she lived. Repeat.
Pharrell is a genius. Like, greatest musician of our time. His band’s new album, “No One Ever Really Dies,” isn’t their best but it’s still great, because Pharrell. This song, āDonāt Donāt Do It,”Ā is my favorite. Deceptively catchy, complete with a banging Kendrick Lamar verse, its hyped up beat belies the song’s infuriating subject matter: police brutality.
Beauty despite chaos. Respite despite rage.
Only Sufjan Stevens could write a song that humanizes Tonya Harding. So he did.
Hey also, if you haven’t watched the “30 For 30” about Tonya Harding–which reminded me Tonya Harding has a story that’s worth humanizing in the first place–do it on your holiday break.
My work on Mildly Depressed has made me a fangirl of embroidery art of all kinds. I love seeing the varied ways people take on this timeless craft. Mid-rabbit hole search on Instagram, I found these two artists,Ā @memorialstitchesĀ andĀ @adipocere, and I want all of their pieces. Not only does their aesthetic look punk rock cool, I dig the symbolism of reinterpreting the disreputable legacy of woman-as-witch through a skillset traditionally reserved for “nice women.” Also, men doing cross stitch and embroidery = awesome. Creative mediums shouldn’t be gendered spaces.
Trying to decide what museum membership to gift myself for Christmas so I can feel motivated to do cultured things next year and also deduct on my taxes before the new tax bill gets rid of such wonderful things
“Thoughts While Attending the First Symphony in the Series My Wife Wanted to Buy” performed by Jim Gaffigan
Before
After
Smile Direct Club
This is my last month of wearing invisible aligners from Smile Direct Club! These were my 31st birthday present to myself. I never wore my braces properly (sorry, Mom) and my teeth were shifting something fierce. What sold me on them was that they were nearly 70% cheaper than Invisalign AND I only had to do one appointment for the whole experience. The rest of the time, my aligners were mailed to me. At my first–and only–visit to their offices, I received a wand scan that sent photos of my mouth to their labs somewhere magical. They then formed a plan for moving my teeth slowly each month. At the beginning of each month, they’d mail me three sets of braces. Two sets I wore for one week each, and the last set I wore for two weeks.
I’m so happy with the results. The complaints that this genius company gets dinged for in online reviews are true: The aligners can cut into your gums and can be painful, but I would just trim mine with the kind scissors I use to cut my bangs (really) and then softened the plastic with the nail file they provide (yes, really); also, they haven’t gotten down the timing of mailing these things yet. I think they get backed up with orders because they’re growing so quickly. That said, every time I called customer service to complain about aligners that were delivered a few weeks late, they’d give me money back. They also gave me free retainers (around $100). So, total, my new smile only cost me about a grand. Worth every penny. š
After Abraham Lincoln’s son died, the president reportedly went back to the Bardo (tomb) to literally feel his loss in his arms. Yeah. He was so full of grief he hugged the boy’s dead body on several occasions. Allegedly. Saunders turns this tale into an incredibly creative ghost story like you’ve never experienced. Really. I’ve never read anything like this.
I picked this up for our roadtrip through the west, which included a drive through Abbey’s beloved and now besmirched Utah desert. I love his cantankerous outlook. It feels oppressively appropriate considering how disrespectfully we continue to treat our land (hello, Mr. President) despite protestations by scientists like Abbey.
This came out in spring and it finally came through via my library hold request. Roxane Gay’s honest stories about her body feel at once entirely her own and completely universal. Finger snaps.
This is another feminist text from this year I’ve been meaning to read for months. It wasn’t until I started reading it that I remembered that the line “the pursuit of happiness” comes directly from a Declaration of Independence. My — and everyone else’s — distraction from this fact is exactly why Filipovich wrote this book. How would we all benefit if we made laws and policy based on what made people — especially women who were historically disenfranchised — happy?
Have you ever not read a book because someone who hurt you loved it? For shame! Also: Same. A college ex of mine loooooved “Dubliners,” thus, I promptly pushed my desire to read it to the back of my brain after we broke up. After recently reading in a writing textbook one of the short stories from JJ’s greatest hit. I decided to pick this up and let that shit go. I found this cool Centennial version on Amazon.
