Now reading: Acts of Creation by Hettie Judah

I bought the book Acts of Creation: On Art & Motherhood about a month before my due date, hungry for some kind of map for the long, unpredictable years of living as both an artist and a mother. I needed someone to tell me the two could grow in the same soil without one starving the other.

Written in 2024 by British art critic and writer Hettie Judah, Acts of Creation began as part of Judah’s research and advocacy effort aimed at challenging the art world’s structural barriers to caregiving — a project awesomely titled “How Not to Exclude Artist Mothers (and other parents).” Judah dismantles the myth of the solitary genius by centering the experiences of artist-mothers across decades and disciplines, drawing on interviews, artist statements, and art history. The result is part manifesto, part oral history, part cultural critique — a book that documents both the sacrifices and the radical reimaginings that happen when artmaking and mothering are allowed to co-exist.

Through Acts of Creation, I was introduced to Mary Beth Edelson’s grotesque goddesses from the 1970s, all wild, unruly figures with snarling mouths, exaggerated limbs, and a refusal to be contained by beauty or decorum. In that space in time days away from giving birth, during which I needed a big pep talk because labor seems scary as hell, I read these collages as, “Fuck you. Look at my warrior vagina. I make life happen, bitch.”

Looking at Edelson’s creations in those last weeks before my due date felt like finding a talisman I didn’t know I needed. These ugly ass goddesses weren’t polite or afraid. They were feral, laughing, ready to split the sky. They reminded me of my body’s strength… that women have done this for centuries. My body, too, was unapologetically strong, strange, and in motion — a reminder that birth is about raw power, a force as old as earth itself. I carried their energy with me into labor, hoping their defiance and vitality could crowd out my fear.

The book spans a wide range of historical perspectives — from ancient cave markings to the use of wet nurses in earlier centuries to the experiences of transgender mothers navigating visibility and acceptance in the art world today. Judah’s profiles of motherhood in art throughout the centuries don’t offer easy blueprints, but they offer something better… proof that a creative life can stretch, bend, and survive the seismic shift of motherhood.

That’s exactly what I needed to read.

The cultural image of the artist as devoted creative monk persists. Door closed, air still, a single shaft of light hitting the desk like divine permission, holy with gravitas and purpose! Instead, Judah documents a different kind of studio — one with kids barging in mid-thought, an empty fridge that takes priority on the to do list, the hum of life bleeding into the work.

It’s not clean. It’s not silent. But it’s still rigorous, and it’s still art.

I also appreciated that Judah didn’t limit her scope to the experiences of mothers alone. She included work grappling with the anxieties of those decided not to have children, those still deciding, and those running out of time to decide.

In a recent sculpture by New York-based artist Lea Cetera, Judah writes, “the pink sands of time pour between twinned blown-glass models of the uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes. As the title reminds us — You Can’t Have It All (2022). Parenthood hangs in the balance of two timescales. The first is counted in hours — how competing demands of work and self-fulfillment might be balanced against demands of care. The second timescale counts the years of fertility — the dreaded ‘biological clock’ which must be held in consideration against economic variables, romantic status, and career progression.”

Seeing Cetera’s work contextualized alongside stories of artist-mothers made the whole spectrum of choice, circumstance, and longing feel more visible. It is a reminder that the creative life and the reproductive life are often tangled in the same knot of time and expectation.

One of the most provocative ideas to me that Judah explores in the book is the “monstrous child” — a cultural bogeyman used to frighten women away from ambition, as if any child born to an artist-mother will inevitably be neglected, malformed, or damaged by her divided attention. It’s a myth rooted in centuries of suspicion toward women who create for anyone other than their families, a story told to keep the studio door closed.

The “monstrous child” also haunts women who are undecided about having children, fending off thoughts that the wrong choice will devastate them in the future. It dogs those who are childless by circumstance, turning absence into something they must explain or justify without allowing much room for the grief. And it follows women determined to remain child-free, as if they must prove their work or themselves worthy in other ways.

In Acts of Creation, Judah gathers artists who reject or explore all versions of this script, showing instead how children can be collaborators, witnesses, and even catalysts in the creative process. The “monstrous child” is revealed as a projection of society’s own anxieties about women’s autonomy. Children and motherhood can, in fact, be beneficial to the artistic life.

That’s what I am loving most in this book so far… the way Judah frames motherhood not as the antagonist to art, but as a medium that shapes it. Time gets weird — elastic in some places, brittle in others. You learn to work with urgency but also to wait. You get attuned to tiny sensory shifts: the weight of a child’s hand, the fresh dew smell of 4 am, the sounds of a neighbor getting plates down for dinner drifting out of their windows. These experiences make their way into the work, even if it’s slow, and even if they’re removed later.

Acts of Creation makes a case — a real, unapologetic case — for the joy of being a mother, and how that joy can stretch and deepen an artist’s vision. I had longed for Alice with my whole being, and even knowing how much I wanted her, I braced myself mostly for loss… of time, of focus, of money, of the version of myself that had full claim to my days. And yes, it is difficult to juggle it all and I have lost all of those things. My art and writing have taken a back seat for now, the pace slower, the projects fewer.

But oh, what I have gained! I’m discovering that motherhood is primarily an expansion. My world has opened into new textures and layers, my sight sharpened to details I might have otherwise missed, my understanding of human experience complicated and stretched. That shift feels like it’s already reshaping the work I will make next.

Judah names the invisible… projects abandoned mid-stream. Half-finished canvases stacked in my basement. My novel manuscript still sitting on my desktop unopened for longer than five minutes at a time. The voice memos whispered into a phone in the grocery store parking lot while Alice sleeps in the back. None of these creations “count” in the official sense. But they’re the soil under what will one day be finished pieces.

I know I will finish my work one day because of Alice, not in spite of her.

Motherhood is the same as art making in that it is a practice of holding contradictions without forcing them to fit.

I’m still making my way through Acts of Creation, reading in the same stop-and-start rhythm I make art and write these days. A few pages here, a layer of paint there while baby naps or when I’m on my morning coffee break. I love books like this — ones that make me want to take my time. It’s worth lingering over, letting its ideas filter in between the rest of life. This book reminds me that the art doesn’t have to wait for silence. It can happen right here, with the door open, the air thick with noise, the work humming along in the midst of it all.

The pendulum swinging between concealment and celebration of artist-mothers during the 20th century still feels relevant today. Some felt they had to hide their children entirely to be taken seriously, tucking away any sign of domestic life so their work wouldn’t be dismissed as “mere” mother’s art. Others found moments when motherhood itself was celebrated, framed as proof of depth or authenticity. Reading these histories, I felt the echo of that divide — the defensiveness that can simmer between mothers and non-mothers in creative spaces, each group wary of how the other’s choices might be judged or romanticized. It’s a tension worth naming, if only so we can imagine something less polarized.

The experience of the mother-artist — with its complexity, interruptions, and unexpected expansions — is robust and alive with possibility. It deserves to be looked at closely, told in full, and explored again and again, not as an exception to the artist’s life but as a vital form of it.

***

May the flower crowns be with you


This guy is from Augustus Sherman’s collection of Ellis Island portraits. The photo is dated 1906. He’s listed simply as “Romanian shepherd.” 

I looked up the May Day celebrations and rituals of Romania (nearly every country’s got some), and this apotropaic one charmed me:

“The entries to the animals’ shelters are adorned with green branches. All branches are left in place until the wheat harvest when they are used in the fire which will bake the first bread from the new wheat.”

To be clear, the fire is to bake the bread. 

Definitely only the bread. 

Definitely not the sad American co-ed’s bad boyfriend dressed in a bear suit. 

Midsommar’s ending explained by Screenrant

ONLY. THE. BREAD.


Berenice Abbott black and white photo of two men in the distance walking on a bridge. Bright yellow embroidery floss emanates from each of their paths.

Best Berenice Abbott quotes in “A View of the 20th Century”


I recently subscribed to The Met on YouTube and found a trove of treasures from this institutional mainstay. Since 2020, the museum has released three to four films from the moving-image archive to celebrate its 150th anniversary. Called “From The Vaults,” the series continues through March 2022. 

Hey, when you turn 150 years old, it’s your party and you can make everyone celebrate for two years if you want to.

I’m slowly making my way through all the artifacts they’ve posted; most recently, a 1992 film about American painter Ralph Fasanella, who was known for his depictions of working-class city life and born in the Bronx on Labor Day 1914 to newly minted Italian immigrants.

​​Berenice Abbott: “A View of the 20th Century”

One of the most compelling docs I’ve watched in The Met’s series so far was another 1992 piece, this one about the photographer Berenice Abbott. I LOVE Berenice and am often drawn to her Works Progress Administration images when selecting images for my embroidery collection.

As one source in the film so succinctly put it, Berenice took, “Emotionally resonant pictures of ordinary things.” That’s as working class as it comes.

What I didn’t realize was how accomplished Berenice was in other intellectual and theoretical pursuits beyond artmaking. Here are some of my favorite quotes from this legendary artist.

"I'm not a nice girl. I'm a photographer." Berenice Abbott

“This clear-eyed, insightful documentary, directed by Martha Wheelock and Kay Weaver, offers a grand tour of Abbott’s extraordinary life, from her youth in Ohio and apprenticeship in Paris through her later groundbreaking scientific photography at MIT and final years in Maine. 

Using the artist’s memories as a lens for apprehending nearly a century of American and European cultural history, this film pays homage to Abbott’s genius for invention, her free-spirited embrace of uncertainty and experience, and her unshakeable devotion the art of photography.”

Watch Berenice Abbott: A View of the 20th Century

Best Berenice Abbott quotes

in “A View of the 20th Century”

Berenice Abbott photographing on South Street, New York, 1937. Photo by Consuelo Kanaga.

ON BEING AN ARTIST

“The only pleasure you can get from creating something is the pleasure you have in doing it. Not the final product even. The pleasure you have in doing it. And that cannot be taken away from you. And it cannot be crushed. But you had a certain kind of joy creating it. And that’s all you can expect.”

“There are many teachers who could ruin you. Before you know it you could be a pale copy of this teacher or that teacher. You have to evolve on your own.”

“I think you have to be intensely personal and be true to yourself. The subject matter that excites you is something you want to photograph. You have to convey to the person who looks at it what it was that excited you.”

"The only pleasure you can get from creating something is the pleasure you have in doing it." Berenice Abbott
Embroidered ball pit of French knots by Jackie Mantey fill the gap under a highway as cars head toward a smoke stack, photographed by Berenice Abbott.
“To the Pit” by Jackie Mantey. Embroidery floss on photo paper. // Original image info: Berenice Abbott, 1937, “Triborough Bridge, East 125th Street approach, Manhattan.”

ON ART

“If you’re trying to express people, you have to be part of it because it’s an exchange. You’re a part of that time.”

“The art is selecting what is worthwhile to take the trouble about.”

“I think it stands to reason that if you recognize and appreciate your heritage, it helps you with your future.”

Embroidered thread kites by Jackie Mantey peek out of black and white buildings, photographed by Berenice Abbott.
“Social Distancing” by Jackie Mantey. Embroidery floss on photo paper. // Original image info: Berenice Abbott, 1937, “General view from penthouse, 56 Seventh Avenue, Manhattan.”

"Art is selecting what is worthwhile to take the trouble about." Berenice Abbott

ON PHOTOGRAPHY

“Anything you photograph has to be exciting somehow visually. It has to be photographically important, visually important. Otherwise you write about it.”

“Photography is very much a prisoner of its time. You work within the framework of the technique at the time, and that’s the way you have to judge photography.”

“I think all photography is documentary or it isn’t even photography. Most photographs are documents by their very nature of the realistic image. When they try to make it a nonrealistic image, they’re imitating another medium. Selectivity is key.”

“Many interesting things aren’t photogenic at all.”

"Selectivity is key." Berenice Abbott
“It isn’t just that you think the city is beautiful. It’s that the city is very interesting. Everything in it has been built by man. It expresses people more than people themselves.” Berenice Abbott

ON CITY APPEAL

“It isn’t just that you think the city is beautiful. It’s that the city is very interesting. Everything in it has been built by man. It expresses people more than people themselves.”

“The city is full of every period, every epoch. Everything there comes out of the human gut. Everything that’s built. Every sign that’s put up. The new, the old, the beautiful, the ugly. It’s the juxtaposition of all this that is an intensely, immensely human subject. You’re photographing people when you’re photographing a city. You don’t have to have a person in it.”

"I think your work is the most important thing in your life. To spend more time with it." Berenice Abbott
"I believe in nature and truth and common sense, pursuit of knowledge." Berenice Abbott

ON BEING A WOMAN

“He said, ‘Nice girls don’t go down on the Bowery.” And I said, ‘Well, I’m not a nice girl. I’m a photographer.‘”

“My assistant got the job. A young man whom I had trained. I think the last thing the world really wants are independent women. I don’t think they like independent women much. Just why I don’t know. But I don’t care.”

“Yes, I’ve always been a loner. I’m certain that some people marry and it doesn’t spoil their independence, even women in some cases. The vast majority seems to snare the woman and she can lose track of her directions and her desires and her interests. I’ve heard so many women say, ‘Oh I would like to have done this but after all my family came first. I had to look after my sons.’ So apparently that was more important to them. To me it would be like losing yourself. I think your work is the most important thing in your life. To spend more time with it.”

"I always thought that there was nothing smarter than an old woman." Berenice Abbott
"I'm planning to live to be 102." Berenice Abbott

ON BEING

“I believe in nature and truth and common sense, pursuit of knowledge. Nothing is any good unless you sort of live up to it. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. That is very valid and can’t get you into any trouble. But you don’t need religion to have morals.”

“I always thought that there was nothing smarter than an old woman. You’ve lived so much, you’ve seen so much, in some sense you’ve been on the passive end of it, which means that you have observed plenty. But my impression was always that most ordinary women, if they’re old, have some remarkable quality that no other people have.”

Embroidered thread kite by Jackie Mantey peeks out of a black and white building, photographed by Berenice Abbott.

“I had no idea I was getting older. I’ve never worried about getting older. I don’t see why people make so much of a thing about aging. It’s so natural to age. Everything is aging all the time. Everybody’s aging constantly. Why worry? It’s slow. You’re not aware of it.You just take it in your stride. But women are so harassed with the idea because of the social attitude, the unfairness of social attitudes between the aging of men and women is so ridiculous and so dreadful that women’s years seem to be only good as long as she can procreate, but a man can be very attractive at 80.”

“I’m planning to live to be 102.” 🙂