Studio Notes: Painting, power, & paper dolls

I’ve been up in my attic tinkering away on Promising Mad Woman, a series of paintings in progress — ten works in total, six completed, four underway — that examine fictional women on the brink of being labeled “mad.” These figures, faceless and stylized as paper dolls, inhabit the threshold between power and disposability, selfhood and spectacle.

I’ve been obsessed with painting these gals the last year. Each work starts with a highly intentional color field — a single, saturated background that acts as emotional atmosphere and formal anchor. Over this, I construct the doll figure using acrylic paint, layered textures, and select applications of stitched thread and textile-inspired motifs.

At the heart of this series is a question of acceptability. By painting these dolls at scale, in lush or acidic color fields, I’m reframing materials and imagery long associated with domesticity and so-called low craft. The paper doll, once a tool of gender training and fantasy, becomes an object of confrontation and inquiry. The figures are flattened, stylized.

I love when they look grotesque (no face, no jaw, etc.). The brushwork is assertive, and the heavy body paint surprisingly handles contradiction well: softness meets sharp edges, precision meets disruption, black outlines act as fence holding the doll back *and* a fortress she’s using to keep herself in tact. 

I want each painting to feel like it’s holding something just under the surface. A tension that resists tidy conclusions.

***

Color is a structuring force in Promising Mad Woman. The backgrounds are fields of pressure. Drawing on the visual language of pop art, I use vivid color to grab your attention and keep it there. These fields frame the dolls in heightened psychological space. They vibrate with emotional contradiction. Seductive but unresolved.

This use of color serves a dual purpose. It makes the work visually immediate while complicating its interpretability. Like the figures themselves, the color is too much in a way that has historically been gendered: Too loud, too bright to be serious. That, too, is the point. I want to place things which are easily dismissed — flowers, fashion, beauty, dolls, women, excessive color, quilting, craft — at the center of the canvas. And dare to take them seriously.

The paper doll format is both visual and conceptual. I first got into this idea when I saw these old paper doll books at my friend Sarah’s apartment. They were captivating, and I wanted to paint them immediately. Paper dolls reflect the historic treatment of women’s identities as interchangeable and ornamental, a dynamic reinforced through design, fashion, and domestic imagery. At the same time, I love design, fashion, domestic imagery. Being a girly girl is fucking cool. It can also be restrictive. The way paper dolls hold all that tension in one dimension is so interesting to me.

In Promising Mad Woman, the dolls refuse to perform. Their facelessness is a balance of loss and refusal of singular authorship, of easy empathy.

***

Each painting is named for a character — fictional, literary, mythic — whose story flirts with the trope of the “madwoman.” Characters like Marguerite (Camille), Makarie (Wilhelm Meister’s Travels), Brandy (from the Looking Glass song you hear on every classic rock channel ad nauseam), and Callisto (Metamorphoses) all exemplify the cultural suspicion of women who deviate from expected roles. As Sandra Gilbert and Susan Gubar write in The Madwoman in the Attic, in their analysis of the Angel of the House, “to be selfless is not only to be noble, it is to be dead.” I want to live my life in a way that redefines what selflessness looks like — on my terms. That’s what this work is helping me explore.

***

The series will (fingers crossed!!!) be completed by the end of the year. My goal is for the ten paintings to be shown together as a single body of work. Their impact is cumulative. Seen individually, each doll suggests a narrative. Seen collectively, they become a haunting chorus of resistance and controlled chaos. The power is in their gathering.

This is a series about how the aesthetics of femininity and “women’s art” have been both celebrated and used to silence.

It is modern woman’s work to find your own interpretation among all that.

A quick and dirty year in review: 2024

Everyone’s doing those sweet look-backs on social media. Here’s mine.

I got knocked up! Yay! Baby’s due January 2025 (aka any day now… gulp).

Morning sickness really took root while we were in Washington D.C. to do some research at the Library of Congress. Did you know you can do that?! It’s the People’s Library after all. You even get a library card, which is a way cooler souvenir than anything I bought there.

Being pregnant meant I spent a lot of time at home. Not that I was complaining. I think 2024 could basically be called my Year of Nesting… with two cute kitties.

And, while at home feeling baby-nauseous, I painted a bunch of stuff, exploring new ideas that I think will coalesce into something more delicious eventually… 

Doug and I got engaged on Christmas. <3

Back when we dated in college, Doug took me on a surprise visit to a neighboring village to walk around and check out the Christmas lights. I’ve always remembered this gesture because:

1) I picked a fight because I thought loving Christmas was kind of lame and I didn’t want to be any kinds of lame, but in the 15-ish years that passed since then, I would sometimes think back on how he recognized this fact about me (loving Christmas) even though I tried to hide it. I regretted picking that fight… and so many others we had simply because it was 2007/2008 and we were 20/21-year-old kids.

2) Doug biffed it on the icy sidewalk because he was wearing cowboy boots. What can I say, we were both stupid in so many ways back then. 

That we found each other again—with more mature hearts, minds, and shoe selections—will forever feel like a miracle to me.

I said yes.

Three “Artist Dates” that cost absolutely nothing

A few weeks ago, I updated my website for the first time in over a year. Woof. I couldn’t believe it had been that long! I mean, I kept up with the obvious stuff — the WordPress and plugin updates, etc. — so the whole thing didn’t come uh-tumblin’-down, but the rest of it had pretty much stayed in stasis for a little over 57 years 365 days.

I had good reason not to be online. I’ve been nesting. I love that term because that’s exactly what it has felt like… cleaning, decorating, fixing, changing, cleaning some more. Basically doing everything a new homeowner should do, including simply just relaxing and enjoying the fact that I finally bought my own house.

Recently, though, I’ve had the itch to get back online and share some of my newer work. I’ve been busy painting over the last year and have a few things I’m happy to show from it. I have also been hoping to get back into a groove of creating and writing more regularly.

Whenever I’ve come across moments like this in my creative life, I love finding things that kick me into high gear—namely, finding other artists who inspire me or challenge me to think about new paths for my practice.

Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way is such an easy go-to in these moments. I have a dog-eared copy with highlighter all over it, notes in nearly every margin. If you’ve ever delved into this book or been friends with someone who has (because we all talk about it), you’re probably familiar with the concept of the “Artist Date.” An Artist Date is a special, intentional block of time that you spend with your creative self. It’s a solo adventure designed to inspire, refresh, and ~awaken~ your inner artist.

Think of it as a date with your creativity—just you, your imagination, and a little bit of play. It’s like creativity is the charming but shy crush you have and you’re trying to bring them out of hiding and make them realize you are a worthy muse/ friend after all.

While the idea might conjure images of pricey art galleries or fancy workshops, the truth is that Artist Dates don’t need to cost a dime. Here are three I’ve done recently that have helped bring me back around to myself, new nest and all.

1. Peruse art books and magazines at the library

The mere scent of a library book can get my juices going. Same? Next time you’re at the library, make a beeline for the art section. Browse through art books, photography collections, and even those glossy magazines dedicated to art, craft, and design. You might find yourself flipping through pages of Picasso or exploring a contemporary artist you’ve never heard of. There’s so much to discover and the randomness of what you’ll find is half the fun.

The last time I did this, I found a great book on the cultural history of kitsch and went down a long, winding rabbit hole learning about the theoretical aesthetics and social implications of show globes and paper weights and basically anything trapped in glass or acrylic. I’m not saying it went anywhere other than me wanting a paperweight for my office now, but it was fun, and I think of the art of capturing a feeling a little differently now.

2. Go to a food market

Sure the food is beautiful — fresh bizarre fruits and decadent desserts in particular—and occasionally grotesque — dead fish eyes staring back at you never fails to disappoint — but food markets/ food halls are especially good people watching. I love noticing what the vendors have on display in their stands.

I get a similar vibe when dropping by niche food stores, like grocery stores in Cleveland’s Asiatown. Unexpected package designs, new color combinations, and surprising word combinations abound.

3. Visit a graveyard

OK, hear me out.

When you’re in the right headspace (read: not grieving), a graveyard is a fascinating visual feast. The terrifying angel statues! The mysterious rolling stones! The… crypt of James Garfield?

Sure thing. At least if you’re visiting the graveyard nearest my house.

Lake View Cemetery is the final resting place of the 20th president of the ol’ US of A (and his wife, daughter, and son in law). He’s the only president buried above ground (sooo, not buried?), and the building atop his casket is simply gorgeous — a Romanesque, Gothic, and Byzantine beaut’ complete with many a mosaic and mural.

Whatever Artist Date you choose, these intentional moments are a time to look, experience, and practice going with the flow of whatever comes up to greet you. Just fingers crossed it’s not the ghost of Garfield… and whomever this terrifying thing belongs to:

New chapbook recommendation

Hooray! My dear friend Jaclyn, who just happens to also be a super talented writer (and excellent poser for my silly little photographs):

… has a new chapbook of poems out, published by Dancing Girl Press in Chicago. I would recommend you read her work regardless, but this chapbook, titled “The Men I Never:” is extra special to me… because I got to design the cover!

This is Erato, one of the nine Greek muses and the patron of lyric and erotic poetry or hymns.

And listen, no one does sexy, weird, lyric poetry quite like Jaclyn. I love this book.

Check it out? Contact Jaclyn to order a copy and be sure to explore the rest of her work!

Just for fun, here were some of the outtakes as we worked together to finalize the cover concept:

Pretty in purple


Come home soon.

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“Under the Lilacs” by Jackie Mantey // Original image info: Russell Lee, 1941, “Old brown stonehouses, Chicago.”

  • Embroidery floss on photo paper
  • Comes in white picture mat with bevel-cut core
  • 11 inches x 14 inches in mat

New watercolor works!


One watercolor painting = two cool new things 💧💧

BLUEBERRY FLAMINGO


APRICOT HONEY


CHARCOAL FOG


GRAPE SODA


PEONY ICE


CROCODILE PEACH


MINT SKY


MAGENTA RUST


BUBBLEGUM WINE


WISTERIA MINT


GREEN TEA PICNIC I & II


ROGUE BLUSH


ORCHID RAIN


PEACOCK SMOKE



May the flower crowns be with you


This guy is from Augustus Sherman’s collection of Ellis Island portraits. The photo is dated 1906. He’s listed simply as “Romanian shepherd.” 

I looked up the May Day celebrations and rituals of Romania (nearly every country’s got some), and this apotropaic one charmed me:

“The entries to the animals’ shelters are adorned with green branches. All branches are left in place until the wheat harvest when they are used in the fire which will bake the first bread from the new wheat.”

To be clear, the fire is to bake the bread. 

Definitely only the bread. 

Definitely not the sad American co-ed’s bad boyfriend dressed in a bear suit. 

Midsommar’s ending explained by Screenrant

ONLY. THE. BREAD.


Women Getting Coffee for Themselves


A new collection of art mugs has arrived straight from my brain to your lips! YUM!

  • Ceramic 11-ounce mug with black rim, handle, and inside
  • White outside printed with collage design art by meeeeee
  • Dishwasher and microwave safe
  • $20 (that includes taxes, and shipping is always free xoxo)
  •  Bottomless refills*

* (of cool, not coffee)


Al Fresco


Strong Pour


Coffee Forever


Cheer Cafe


From the Saucer


Breakfast Time


Coffee Table