Saturday. In the park.

Puppies at brunch show off for bacon.

A boy, beautiful nose, bleached hair, skates by. Stops. Waits.

“Can I bum a cigarette?”

“Do you smoke while you roller blade?”

“Yes!”

Then, “Parliments. My favorite.”

A man, stinking clothes unwashed, rests by the fence framing the McDonald’s.

Then, “youlookbeautifultoday.”

Bikers chase cars. Cars chase time. Time chases all.

Children in wagons bump over the sidewalk, pinch the sunshine with their curious eyes.

Another man, laying on a bench in the park, streams “Big Shot” by Billy Joel from his phone and sings along. Beside him, his bald baby, rapt, watching.

Language can only convey so much. Sometimes it does just fine.

Three things that, much to my surprise, gave me goosebumps this week

Eminem’s verses on “Caterpillar”

I rely on Justin to keep me musically relevant and he played this song for me last night on our drive home from Denny’s (home of the 11:30 pm breakfast-skillet-sanity-saver). Eminem is a genius. His syncopation, cadence, rhyme, and god-like wit are on full display in this song. What a fucking writer.

Jen’s death scene on “Dawson’s Creek”

We finally finished the last season of “Dawson’s Creek” on Hulu following a binge of all the seasons. It was my first time watching any of it, but I knew (because I didn’t live under a rock in the early 2000s like I kind of do now) that Pacey gets the gal and Jen bites the dust.

That said, I think I would have cried at poor, lovely Jen’s death regardless, but goosebumps? That was courtesy how subtly, reverently they shot this. I love the choice to make the scene include only Jen and Grams in the room; a nod to the special relationship these two share and how, I think, Grams is really Jen’s soulmate, not Jack.

One final breath and a peaceful farewell while Grams is sleeping. It’s so soft, that goodbye from Jen. We don’t get to see her face full on through most of the scene, graciously giving us one last chance to see life from Jen’s perspective. And of course Grams knows immediately that Jen has died. Grams always knows. Grams carries Jennifer in her heart. “I’ll see you soon, child.” So gentle and loving a send off. So perfect for these two.

Bravo, 20 years later. Holds up.

The robot dress in “McQueen” the documentary

In an attempt to get as much out of our Movie Passes as possible before it goes popcorn-stuffed-belly up, we’ve been seeing a lot of movies lately, including “McQueen,” the visual feasty documentary about poor English boy turned fashion world icon Alexander McQueen.

1) Yes, go see it. 2) Justin and I both were a bit surprised when I reacted so physically to the robot dress scene from his 1999 runway show. I started CRYING and, of course, had the aforementioned goosebumps. It was surprising because there was no real lead-up to this footage; it wasn’t supposed to be this super emotional moment. But it was for me and I’ve been trying to figure out why.

Here’s what I’ve landed on: This robot spray paint dress finale happened in the midst of the Y2K scare, thus, everyone kind of saw these robots as menacing the model and destroying her virginal gown. But when I watched it, I thought it was so hopeful! The robots dance with the model, learn to move with her and try to learn her language, and then they add something to her experience. Sure, what they do to her dress is messy and has an underlying violence to it, but I see in this choice McQueen’s optimism, his openness, his ability to find something beautiful in the darkest places. Contrast that with his last runway show, “Plato’s Atlantis,” right before his suicide in 2010. The “robots” of that famous show were cameras that moved in front of the audience and in front of the models; watching, waiting, judging with a lens. In those robots, the violence was clear, the battle lines drawn, the hope gone. We should have known then the tragedy to come.

Seven things I’m loving this month

The “Sorry to Bother You” soundtrack

Listen here. Go see the movie, too! So absurd. So perfect.

This scene and dialogue from “Peaky Blinders”

I finally caught up on the latest season (it came out last December). Despite the novel-esque length of each episode, I finished it in two days because I’m obsessed with all these characters (once, of course, I remember they exist in my magic TV box and are poised for viewing pleasure).

Anyway, this scene, where our fave anti-hero goes on a vacation only to find rest does not suit him or his repressed PTSD/ anxiety/ depression/ devils, gave me goosebumps. It’s set to Radiohead’s “Pyramid Song,” which is perfectly haunting for a clip of man left alone with nothing but his terrible thoughts.

One line, though, is what really did me in. When Tommy’s housekeeper asks him if he’s alright, says he doesn’t look good, Tommy responds: “I know what this is. It’s just myself talking to myself about myself.” Never have I heard a more perfect description of the downward spiral.

Band-Aids by Oh Joy!

So, Radiohead for the mental wounds, these cute lil guys for the physical ones. The limited edition line is sold at Target and features the colorful work of one of my favorite design bloggers, Oh Joy!

Burt’s Bees tinted lip balm in Red Dahila

Perfect for melty hot days, when you need a pop of color that won’t dry out. It looks much more natural than a lipstick and keeps your kisser smooth. More color ways here.

Pretty Cool popsicles in Logan’s Square

This new novelty shop opened earlier this month. I tried the stick-ified peanut butter ice cream dipped in chocolate and crushed potato chips. Yeah, it was as good as it sounds.

The art of Small Ditch

Go follow @smallditch on Instagram to see the most adorable and clever reinterpretations of found nature into fashion shots. (Thanks, Jealous Curator, as always, for the hookup.)

“The Magic of Not Giving a Fuck” speech by Sarah Knight

I prescribe one viewing each morning. To be watched as many times as necessary.

The best quotes from “Solitude of Self” by Elizabeth Cady Stanton

I have bookmarked this speech ECS gave at the Committee of the Judiciary of the US Congress on January 18, 1892. I find it most useful during, of all things, my super-blue days. Her wisdom and identification about the realities of the solitude of self, and her unintentional reminder that I am capable and free to help myself (a privilege people like ECS fought hard for) help pull me out of the black holes that are my bad days. I recently re-read the speech and thought I’d share some of my favorite parts. Read the full text here, you sweet-beautiful-captain-of-your-own-ship.

First of all, let’s imagine a world where women are ppl, mmk?

“In discussing the rights of woman, we are to consider, first, what belongs to her as an individual, in a world of her own, the arbiter of her own destiny, an imaginary Robinson Crusoe with her woman Friday on a solitary island. Her rights under such circumstances are to use all her faculties for her own safety and happiness.”

Because she is (surprise, wig boy!) a real person, woman is responsible for making herself complete and happy

“…as a woman, an equal factor in civilization, her rights and duties are still the same—individual happiness and development.”

To survive the implicit solitude of self, every person needs the right to choose

“The isolation of every human soul and the necessity of self-dependence must give each individual the right to choose his own surroundings.”

Education helps save us from fear

“The strongest reason for giving woman all the opportunities for higher education, for the full development of her faculties, forces of mind and body; for giving her the most enlarged freedom of thought and action; a complete emancipation from all forms of bondage, of custom, dependence, superstition; from all the crippling influences of fear, is the solitude and personal responsibility of her own individual life.”

Men can’t protect women from certain things, things like the solitude of self

“No matter how much women prefer to lean, to be protected and supported, nor how much men desire to have them do so, they must make the voyage of life alone, and for safety in an emergency they must know something of the laws of navigation.”

You are a beautiful precious snowflake… so you are responsible for making sure you do not melt

“Nature never repeats herself, and the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another.”

Our internal lives can never be fully revealed

“In youth our most bitter disappointment, our brightest hopes and ambitions are known only to ourselves; even our friendship and love we never fully share with another; there is something of every passion in every situation we conceal. Even so in our triumphs and our defeats.”

Self-actualization is an inalienable human right

“To throw obstacles in the way of a complete education is like putting out the eyes; to deny the rights of property, like cutting off the hands.”

Being a wife or mother is hard as fuck too

“The young wife and mother, at the head of some establishment with a kind husband to shield her from the adverse winds of life, with wealth, fortune and position, has a certain harbor of safety, secure against the ordinary ills of life. But to manage a household, have a desirable influence in society, keep her friends and the affections of her husband, train her children and servants well, she must have rare common sense, wisdom, diplomacy, and a knowledge of human nature. To do all this she needs the cardinal virtues and the strong points of character that the most successful statesman possesses.”

Taking responsibility for your life is empowering

“Nothing strengthens the judgment and quickens the conscience like individual responsibility. Nothing adds such dignity to character as the recognition of one’s self-sovereignty; the right to an equal place, everywhere conceded; a place earned by personal merit, not an artificial attainment, by inheritance, wealth, family, and position.”

Even if protected, a person faces “fierce storms of life”

“The talk of sheltering woman from the fierce storms of life is the sheerest mockery, for they beat on her from every point of the compass, just as they do on man, and with more fatal results, for he has been trained to protect himself, to resist, to conquer.”

Identity politics don’t matter in the realm of self

“Rich and poor, intelligent and ignorant, wise and foolish, virtuous and vicious, man and woman, it is ever the same, each soul must depend wholly on itself.”

Making yourself a stronger, smarter person is necessary for survival and self-respect

“But when all artificial trammels are removed, and women are
 recognized as individuals, responsible for their own environments, thoroughly educated for all positions in life they may be called to fill; with all the resources in themselves that liberal thought and broad culture can give; guided by their own conscience and judgment; trained to self-protection by a healthy development of the muscular system and skill in the use of weapons of defense, and stimulated to self-support by a knowledge of the business world and the pleasure that pecuniary independence must ever give; when women are trained in this way they will, in a measure, be fitted for those hours of solitude that come alike to all, whether prepared or otherwise.”

Equal opportunity for all, mothafuckas!

“The chief reason for opening to every soul the doors to the whole round of human duties and pleasures is the individual development thus attained, the resources thus provided under all circumstances to mitigate the solitude that at times must come to everyone.”

“We see reason sufficient in the outer conditions of human beings for individual liberty and development, but when we consider the self-dependence of every human soul we see the need of courage, judgment, and the exercise of every faculty of mind and body, strengthened and developed by use, in woman as well as man.”

 

My list of books to read this month

“Fates And Furies”

By Lauren Groff

This boooook. <3 <3 <3

It’s overflowing with the most beautiful three- to four-word sentences I’ve ever read. I want to wear Lauren Groff’s writing around me like a silk robe.

A masterpiece of innovative narrative structure, “Fates and Furies” is broken into two sections. First, we meet the husband of a marriage. Second, we grow to understand his complicated wife. The revelations unfold like a flower in bloom, and it all moves so quickly, as if you are in a dream, and I could write a 10-page English lit paper on its symbolic use of birds, land, and water. This one will hurt when I finish because that means there’s no more “Fates and Furies” left to read.

Bracket copy sprinkled throughout. Insights from the muses. The fates themselves. Brilliant.

The book is a few years old, but it called to me like a siren from a bookshelf in the basement of the State Street Macy’s. I was dicking around while Justin tried on tracksuits, because this is 32.

Groff’s newest book, “Florida,” came out in June. So guess what will be on my list of books to read in September?

#The10to10: Brown 9 to Sedgwick

Justin and I played our second round of #The10to10 last week! He drew brown, rolled 9, which led us to the brown line Sedgwick stop.

Here’s what we found.

BROWN LINE SEDGWICK STOP

  • Take a ribbing from your partner that you brought a book to read on the bus ride to the L
  • Fuel up at Nookies, a cute, spacious breakfast spot unafraid of serving chili on eggs
  • Head eastward and stumble upon Green City Market
  • Keep walking until you hit the free Lincoln Park Zoo, on your way, snap a pic with Hans Christian Andersen, writer of childhood dreams/ nightmares
  • Ride the 3D underwater simulator and the carousel (yes, even in a skirt!) at the Lincoln Park Zoo 
  • Take in the view at the Lincoln Park nature boardwalk
  • Stop by the Chicago History Museum and feed your brain with famous stories about Chicago, social movements, and so much more
  • Take two Divvy bikes (we use this app to find our bikes!) via side streets to Portillo’s and feed your tummy with famous cased meats
  • Take the bus up to Lincoln Park for aggression release by way of Bad Axe Throwing
  • Take a million photos of you and the axe that you landed in the bullseye because it’s pretty much guaranteed you will not even hit the board after you do that no matter how many times you try (No? Just me?)
  • Get a glazed donut at Stan’s, because battle axe throwing is tiring
  • Watch a movie at Century theater, located in the same building as axe throwing (This has proven to be our go-to ending for #The10to10 days. Perhaps we were a bit ambitious trying to stay out and about for 12 hours straight. We’re always beat the next day. So, spending the last two hours in a dark air conditioned theater has proven an excellent decision. This time we watched “Leave No Trace.” I cried a lot and am recommending it to everyone now, including you.)

P.S. Here’s a PDF of a customizable #The10to10 map so you can create your own version! I guess this game could work for bus lines or highway exits, too! Whatever you’re down to explore.

P.P.S. If you want to play with lo-class dice like ours, just shoot me a message! We can send you a pair in your fave color: red, brown, purple, blue, or green.

The 1% you can actually control

I keep listening to this speech by writer James Clear from the 2017 Craft + Commerce conference. In it, he gives great advice for staying productive throughout the work week. For example, he has his assistant change his social media passwords every Monday so he can’t log in (and, thus, be totally distracted) until the weekend. I know most of us don’t have personal assistants, but we do have opposable thumbs that can turn off our phones during precious writing hours. But the most meaningful aspect of his talk is how succinctly he puts something we all know instinctually but don’t act on realistically: If you get 1% better at whatever you’re working on every day, you’re going to be in a much better place after a year has passed.

Whenever I get down on myself about not accomplishing enough in regards to a pressing deadline whose harbor I’m about to crash into, I remember this speech and I’ll ask myself, “Am I 1% closer to my goal? Is what I did today 1% better than what I did yesterday?” The answers are usually yes and yes. And that’s a win.

What are you doing today to make yourself 1% better or push your project 1% forward?

Quick Quote: On social media

From Jennifer R. Hubbard’s essay “What’s This Doing to My Brain?” Creative Nonfiction Magazine, Spring 2018.

“We now routinely interact with one another in ways that were impossible for most of human history. Kenneth Goldsmith goes even further than Heffernan in celebrating cyberspace, finding the handwringing of naysayers to be overwrought. In Wasting Time on the Internet, Goldsmith contends that the web is social, not antisocial; after all, we communicate through it. As for fears of shrinking attention spans, he argues, ‘When I look around me and see people riveted to their devices, I’ve never seen such a great wealth of concentration, focus, and engagement.'”

Words on the Street: June 28, 2018

I just love this juxtaposition so much.

Sears closing. Sears rebranding? Tarot table cards at a taco joint. So many synonyms! What goodies await in your community mailbox? I found a dinosaur.

On the way to my dentist appointment. At my dentist appointment. They were playing, of all things, Deep Blue Sea. That lyric is my new favorite Most Ridiculous Lyric Without Any Context.