“I learned later how hard it can become to unsettle yourself, to trip yourself up, and I think that a good place to write from. It’s important to undermine yourself and create a level of difficulty so the work doesn’t come too easily. The more comfortable you get, the more money you earn, the more successful you are, the harder it is to create situations where you have to prove yourself and make yourself not just want it, but need it. The stakes should always feel high.”
Carrie Brownstein, “Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl”
You’re listening to the wrong country music.
Currently on the Roku: “American Masters: Loretta Lynn.” Watch it! Forever a bad bitch mountain girl. “Say what you will but she’s a feminist. She made it OK for other women to say, ‘Wait. Yeah!.’ And that’s how movements start.”
You remember the Duke case wrong.
The new “30 For 30” episode covering the Duke Lacrosse scandal from the 2000s has made me completely re-think (consider for the first time?) *my own* privilege. Not because I’m a woman, but because I’m middle class. I remember when this story happened and reading the news stories and looking at the photos and thinking these guys were definitely guilty. They were rich and jocks.
And rich people and jocks were entitled and mostly always sucked. Please check out the film. It’s a well-done look at how journalism and social righteousness can go terribly wrong, a stark reminder that innocent until proven guilty applies to all of us. (This story feels especially scary considering that our reactionary natures have only accelerated since this happened thanks to clickbait headlines.)
My first book hits Barnes & Noble books shelves… today! “100 Things to Do in Columbus Before You Die” is a bucket list of the best things to do in Ohio’s capital city. There are kid friendly and new visitor-centric entries, as well as items for people who have lived here for a long time (RIP Bernie’s, right?).
Want a signed copy? Just message me.
In addition to its sale at local book stores and its national representation — hello, Costco shoppers, meet the 614 — I’m doing a few author events in the next month. I’ll be selling the book ($16), doing signings and generally will just be available to hang out. Come say hi!
3/5 – The Candle Lab, Short North, 6-8 p.m. Gallery Hop
3/15 – Seventh Son Brewing Company, Italian Village, 6 p.m.-Midnight, Book launch party!
On Tuesday, the New York Public Library uploaded more than 200,000 historical images into the public domain. It’s a wonderful time suck *and* an opportunity to finally use the new black hole emoji when talking about it with your friends! Really though, it’s interesting to see images that haven’t made it into the public consciousness but are just as arresting as those that have. It’s a great research resource for writers or artists.
Interior of miner’s shack. Scott’s Run outside of Morgantown, West Virginia. From the Farm Security Administration collection.
Clicking through I was reminded of the one time I had to Google Image search “trust falls” for some reason and thought it would be funny to caption how ridiculous they are. And, thus, this blog post. HAPPYTHURSDAY.
That little-known time Van Gogh did some corporate freelance work.
A photo still from my worst nightmare.
Prepare the Kool-Aid. She’s ready.
“I didn’t say ‘Fall on’ yet, Deborah! I didn’t say it!”
“Did you see how super eager Dan was to get to the front when it was Andrea’s turn? <giggle>”
How are those resolutions holding up? Hopefully awesome. And awesome could mean that they’re failing brilliantly. Take, for example, John Oliver’s recent definition of what makes a goal, resolution, life change, et al, successful:
“Deep down we all know, the key to a successful resolution is not hard work and dedication,” Oliver said. “It’s managing disappointment and that’s it.”
Success is all about bouncing back. Because you’re going to fail. How reassuring! Really. Here are three podcasts I’ve been listening to lately that should be tagged in the non-annoying self-help category.
Take a listen and fail less! Or fail better. Either way, happy new year. <3
This dude’s a spiritual teacher with a Timothy Leary connection but fear not! He’s fun and interesting and the lectures feel very modern and relatable. “Here and Now” delves into topics such as parenting, self-awareness and romantic love, non-prophetically approaching each subject with an honest and loving lens. Life’s hard, man. But don’t make it harder than it has to be.
“The more we individually have our shit together, the less that we are groping in the dark with a partner and having gigantic expectations and wanting to change each other.”
Just don’t try to say this podcast’s name 10 times fast. Buh dum chi. The host, Mike Vardy, is a comedian (not nearly as cheesy as I) turned podcaster whose show looks into realistic ways to be more productive in your daily life.
This podcast is really approachable and not intimidating, which some of the podcasts about productivity can be (“WORKOUT AT 4 AM! DOWNLOAD THESE APPS! YOU COULD DO MORE! BUY THE FIVE NEW BOOKS I WROTE YESTERDAY!”). I mean, he has blog post topics such as “The Three Things Seinfeld Does That I’ve Built Into My Workflow.”
Life’s a real balancing act. HEY-O!
From The Productivityist’s interviews, I’ve picked up some really helpful strategies for managing everything from my email and time to my negative thoughts.
Look no further than Mike’s first episode of 2016, “Deep Work with Cal Newport.” This episode really made me think twice about the way I spend my time and how much of it is lost doing things like getting sucked into the black hole of Facebook. I love the tips on how to focus your time on one task, and I can definitely see the value and rarity — workplace or otherwise — of concentration. Sometimes you have to catch yourself slipping away and just do the work and keep doing the work. No, really, go do the work. This is how you get those dreams done, people!
The wonderful illustrator Andy J. Miller is the “person who does this podcast.” He doesn’t like the word host, which is indicative of how unpretentious this show is. Andy talks about how to make a living as an artist or tips on becoming unblocked — generally patting creative people on the tookus. These are fun to listen to as you’re doing chores while you put off the creative work because you’re scared! Meet your creative coach during self-imposed halftime.
I’m excited, actually, because I do not fare well when given ultimate freedom from routine. Consistency is key to me not sleeping literally all day or building a fort under my kitchen table and calling my cat First Lieutenant.
However, I do understand the desire to slowly turn up the heat when it comes to work. After all, those frogs jump out of the boiling water when thrown right into it, no?
Here’s something to look at as you dick around a little bit throughout your first day back at the office. This website is called Old Book Illustrations and it posts amazing and oddball artworks from books now within the public domain.
We had a yard sale in my neighborhood the other day. I didn’t have a lot to sell. I’ve purged so much in my recent moves that everything I own, which isn’t much, are things I want or need. I try not to buy tchotchkes or meaningless stuff that I’m excited about for a week but then just collects dust on a shelf somewhere.
Picture frames and Made in China sculptures and Mason jars with fake flowers are the misfit toys of adulthood. I will spend extra money on clothes and food and gifts. That’s about it.
I do have a lot of books though. And records. So I set to work picking out ones to sell. Prepping for a yard sale can be stressful — figuring out what to sell, deciding what to charge for what you do decide to sell, and confronting a mental list of just how insignificant the crap you own is can an existential crisis make.
Adding to the frustration? Masking tape. Why is it so sticky on your fingers but never on the actual thing you need it to stick to? WHY?!
I share a house with four other people. We each live in one corner apartment of the house. The others had filled our backyard on yard sale day with so many goodies! My records and books looked kind of lonely huddled together on my back porch.
About half of my stuff sold. Turns out anything priced for more than $2 at a yard sale is just ridiculous. Who the fuck do you think you are charging $5 for an ornate antique ashtray? The buyer has all the power. He or she knows you’ve gone to all this trouble to pick out this junk, label it with that pestiferous masking tape, and sit outside while strangers dally around like zombies in your back yard. You just want it gone. So how low will you go?
The night before, when I was curating just what of my bookshelves to feed to these deal-seeking wolves, I decided there were a few records in my collection I just couldn’t part with. Surprise, they were the ones with sentimental value.
“Boys Don’t Cry” by The Cure: I listened to this album nearly every morning of my sophomore year of college.
“Abbey Road” by The Beatles: An ex-boyfriend got this for me and I still think it’s sweet because everyone has that one person from their early 20s that makes them think of a Beatles song.
“Portrait of Bobby” by Bobby Sherman: Belonged to my teenage mom.
A literal portrait of A Portrait of Bobby. So meta.
The Black Keys and John Frusciante and MIA? Sell. Sell. Sell. This stuff’s gotta go! A deal you can’t refuse! But wait there’s more! I’ll sweeten the pot and let you take this masking tape off my hands! No really. Please. Can you rip this tape off my hands?
One album, though, that didn’t get purchased during my yard sale has been the focus of my last few weeks, musically speaking.
The thing with records is that you can remember where you got most of them. You remember the crazy deal you found them for, or who you pilfered it from, or what barter you made to get it, or which mom wanted you to please, annoying hipster kid, just take them from the basement so there’s less junk down there. I have three editions of “Rumors” by Fleetwood Mac from an ex’s mom’s old collection.
There is a pride to finding classics for so cheap. It is a reminder of their fragility and the way we discard or forget things that once meant so much to us. Sometimes the story means more than the music.
But I just cannot remember how I got “Something/ Anything” by Todd Rundgren. It’s such a random pick and I am not familiar with him except for this album. Hell, I didn’t even know he sings that insurance commercial song “I DON’T WANT TO WORK. I JUST WANT TO BANG ON THE DRUM ALL DAY.” until I was recently Spotifying all his work.
But I have this album completely memorized. This album has been in my rotation for about seven years. I can’t believe I was trying to sell it for only $2 the other day. Talk about not knowing something’s, anything’s worth.
This album is the ultimate in spring listening. And if there’s a time to be easy and smooth and optimistic, it is the time when spring is folding into summer. You’ve settled into rainy nights and a warmth that feels like a hug rather than a chokehold. “Something/ Anything” makes me feel like I’m on the water. Just laying on my back, eyes closed.
I’m thankful no one bought this up. Sometimes one woman’s trash is actually her own treasure.
(BYOB because it’s prob more profesh than professional.) Today at 6:30 p.m. I’ll be speaking on a panel with three incredible professionals I just happen to be friends with as we talk about “The Art of Breaking Into Freelancing.” There is a photographer, a writer and two event and marketing consultants on the panel. Things kick off at 6:30 p.m. Run through 8:30 p.m. This is part of the Goose’s The Art of Breaking Into series about art-centric entrepreneurship and how to do it sustainably. More info here! See you tonight.
This beloved genre’s demise is not just because TV is getting better or because Tom Hanks and Freddie Prinze Jr. are getting old.
Nay, the culprit is coming from inside your pocket.
Social Media has murdered the rom com.
Yes, the time suck that is Facebook, Tinder, Pinterest, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat, ChatChat, TapDat, AssHat…
has irrevocably changed how we interact with, write and consume the time-honored first-world tradition of romantic comedy.
First, let us consider the plotline problem.
The lost-then-found lover is a motif as important to the rom com as spritely mischief is to Shakespeare.
These tales of old-flame-returns-for-high-school-reunion or mysterious-man’s-child-keeps-calling-me-from-Seattle seem quaint in the era of social media.
They seem *so* not plausible today that if you tried to make a movie with these storylines, you’d lose viewers. Instead of getting lost in the story, they’d be thinking about how this just wouldn’t happen. Why wouldn’t she just look him up on LinkedIn?
The last thing you, as a writer, want your audience to do is to start asking questions about plausibility. We all know love isn’t real.
Here’s a specific example of rom com plotline extinction.
Do you guys remember the movie 40 Days and 40 Nights? It’s a movie with Josh Harnett and the hot girl from Wristcutters (that’s the better movie to watch if we’re doling out Netflix suggestions here).
Anyway, Josh’s character swears off sex for 40 days and 40 nights, but, alas, during this time he meets the would-be love of his life, hot girl from Wristcutters! So he hides from her what he’s doing, she thinks he isn’t that into her, cupid’s arrow is nearly for naught. (The moral of the story, to 17-year-old boys, here is to always have sex asap.)
Social media’s role in our modern lives would not allow for any of this story to unfold the way it does. First, the couple meets in a Laundromat and connects over how hot girl from Wristcutters circles words she doesn’t know in the book she’s reading so she can go look them up in the dictionary.
HA! She’s reading a real book!
If this were happening in 2015 and not 2002, she’d be all up on her phone either googling the words she doesn’t know as soon as she finds them or, let’s be honest, digging into her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend’s step sister’s Instagram photos from a beach vacay to the Dominican Republic.
“Her baby is super ugly.”
So not only would this couple likely not meet, if they did, the dude character would have a hard time hiding his abstinence mission and thus, hot girl from Wristcutters would never go experience the folly of misunderstanding her potential lover’s intentions.
After all, in 2015 he will have taken this opportunity to start a blog and podcast series following his sex-free adventures so he could share them on his Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn pages and hopefully get a book deal.
Because rom coms, the gluttonous slinger of gender stereotypes that they are, teach us that all guys are all about the Benjamins until he finds love he didn’t know he wanted… and they need you to stop fucking playing Sixpence None The Richer’s “Kiss Me” on repeat already.
HASHTAG YOU’RENOTJESSICAALBA
Furthermore, catching a cheater is no longer visually interesting, which is kind of a key element of a film.
And cheating, or at least thinking someone is cheating, is a blockbuster plot device. But today, this is what it looks like:
1) Receive text from friend about potential cheating.
2) Turn red, hyperventilate, furiously text lover.
3) Cry quietly as you scroll through now-ex’s Facebook feed looking for any shred of evidence.
4) Chug whiskey alone.
Not exactly the most sexy, riveting stuff. And because things can happen so quickly, romance is kind of a lost art. On Tinder, you can literally scroll through hundreds of potential lovers while doing nothing but eating cheese and crackers off your belly.
This is not the type of scenario for which God made men as gorgeous as Ryan Gosling.
We’ve become desensitized to romance. After all, your girl can just get on Pinterest and post quotes full of loving sentiment you could never come up with. Oh, and your guy can just go read your Pins to figure out what is required for you in particular to woo.
It’s why kids these days prefer their romance from the mouths of babes that turn into werewolves during the full moon.
Social media lets you be whoever you want to be, let’s you concoct or express a whole well-rounded personality and, on the positive side of that, helps eliminate stereotypes – you are not just the weird girl in art class with glasses, you are a complete person who has family photos and interesting things to say about world events and look at this whole album of selfies taken without your glasses on!!! Social media is a confidence booster. It reinforces the idea that you can be whatever you want!
But here’s one thing you can’t be anymore. And it’s a thing that is also incredibly important to the rom com cannon—a magazine reporter.
Some of my favorite romantic comedies revolve around the career field of magazine journalism. I think this is because it’s glamorous without being too POWER BABE (heaven forbid), plus most of these screenplay writers were probably once journalists so publishing is a world they understand.
How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, Sex and the City, The Devil Wears Prada and Morning Glory are all great rom coms starring characters who work in journalism.
Here’s the thing though. Social media is also singlehandedly murdering print journalism. Today’s newsroom is anything but glamorous. The editorial meetings are no longer about which champagne to offer on the set of a fancy photo shoot but how to convince the unpaid intern who is five out of journalism school to stay on board – man, at least after sweeps!
Hardworking journalists are being replaced by hardworking bloggers and freelance content sharers. But finagling in your pajamas with your accountant on the phone about tax writeoffs isn’t nearly as sexy as a fun loving, wacky work crew that always seems to be there for you when your dream man is aloof.
Finally, because of the fast paced and argumentative nature of social media, some of our favorite rom coms wouldn’t even get made today.
Consider, Grease. If you do not know the plot of Grease and the melody of at least one of its songs, you clearly didn’t know a theater kid in high school.
Cover your ears if it is possible to spoil the ending of Grease for you, grandpa.
Olivia Newton John’s wholesome Sandy gets all slutifued by her pink ladies to impress the Danny Zucko.
Granted Danny also donned a letterman sweater at the school carnival to impress Sandy but that decision was quickly revoked when everyone just silently admitted that it’s way more fun to be a bad bitch than a basic one.
But you know who would’ve been all over that plot line of woman giving up it all for a love? jezebel.com.
And probably all the Christian organizations you can think of, for other reasons. But basically this movie would’ve been a flop before it went direct to DVD, jazz hands cart wheels and dancing hotdogs be damned.
Same goes for the abusive principal in The Breakfast Club. And the patriarchal town in Footloose would’ve had its own reality TV show before that movie could ever get made.
We are think piecingourselves out of a good old-fashioned, gender-roled love story, people.
So in conclusion social media has made us too savvy, too homogeneous and too stalker-prone to enjoyromantic comedies. The stories seem as fake and contrived as Channing Tatum’s abs.
For the real funny drama we’ll just all turn to Facebook.
