Listen here. Go see the movie, too! So absurd. So perfect.
This scene and dialogue from “Peaky Blinders”
I finally caught up on the latest season (it came out last December). Despite the novel-esque length of each episode, I finished it in two days because I’m obsessed with all these characters (once, of course, I remember they exist in my magic TV box and are poised for viewing pleasure).
Anyway, this scene, where our fave anti-hero goes on a vacation only to find rest does not suit him or his repressed PTSD/ anxiety/ depression/ devils, gave me goosebumps. It’s set to Radiohead’s “Pyramid Song,” which is perfectly haunting for a clip of man left alone with nothing but his terrible thoughts.
One line, though, is what really did me in. When Tommy’s housekeeper asks him if he’s alright, says he doesn’t look good, Tommy responds: “I know what this is. It’s just myself talking to myself about myself.” Never have I heard a more perfect description of the downward spiral.
Band-Aids by Oh Joy!
So, Radiohead for the mental wounds, these cute lil guys for the physical ones. The limited edition line is sold at Target and features the colorful work of one of my favorite design bloggers, Oh Joy!
Burt’s Bees tinted lip balm in Red Dahila
Perfect for melty hot days, when you need a pop of color that won’t dry out. It looks much more natural than a lipstick and keeps your kisser smooth. More color ways here.
Pretty Cool popsicles in Logan’s Square
This new novelty shop opened earlier this month. I tried the stick-ified peanut butter ice cream dipped in chocolate and crushed potato chips. Yeah, it was as good as it sounds.
The art of Small Ditch
Go follow @smallditch on Instagram to see the most adorable and clever reinterpretations of found nature into fashion shots. (Thanks, Jealous Curator, as always, for the hookup.)
“The Magic of Not Giving a Fuck” speech by Sarah Knight
I prescribe one viewing each morning. To be watched as many times as necessary.
I have bookmarked this speech ECS gave at the Committee of the Judiciary of the US Congress on January 18, 1892. I find it most useful during, of all things, my super-blue days. Her wisdom and identification about the realities of the solitude of self, and her unintentional reminder that I am capable and free to help myself (a privilege people like ECS fought hard for) help pull me out of the black holes that are my bad days. I recently re-read the speech and thought I’d share some of my favorite parts. Read the full text here, you sweet-beautiful-captain-of-your-own-ship.
First of all, let’s imagine a world where women are ppl, mmk?
“In discussing the rights of woman, we are to consider, first, what belongs to her as an individual, in a world of her own, the arbiter of her own destiny, an imaginary Robinson Crusoe with her woman Friday on a solitary island. Her rights under such circumstances are to use all her faculties for her own safety and happiness.”
Because she is (surprise, wig boy!) a real person, woman is responsible for making herself complete and happy
“…as a woman, an equal factor in civilization, her rights and duties are still the same—individual happiness and development.”
To survive the implicit solitude of self, every person needs the right to choose
“The isolation of every human soul and the necessity of self-dependence must give each individual the right to choose his own surroundings.”
Education helps save us from fear
“The strongest reason for giving woman all the opportunities for higher education, for the full development of her faculties, forces of mind and body; for giving her the most enlarged freedom of thought and action; a complete emancipation from all forms of bondage, of custom, dependence, superstition; from all the crippling influences of fear, is the solitude and personal responsibility of her own individual life.”
Men can’t protect women from certain things, things like the solitude of self
“No matter how much women prefer to lean, to be protected and supported, nor how much men desire to have them do so, they must make the voyage of life alone, and for safety in an emergency they must know something of the laws of navigation.”
You are a beautiful precious snowflake… so you are responsible for making sure you do not melt
“Nature never repeats herself, and the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another.”
Our internal lives can never be fully revealed
“In youth our most bitter disappointment, our brightest hopes and ambitions are known only to ourselves; even our friendship and love we never fully share with another; there is something of every passion in every situation we conceal. Even so in our triumphs and our defeats.”
Self-actualization is an inalienable human right
“To throw obstacles in the way of a complete education is like putting out the eyes; to deny the rights of property, like cutting off the hands.”
Being a wife or mother is hard as fuck too
“The young wife and mother, at the head of some establishment with a kind husband to shield her from the adverse winds of life, with wealth, fortune and position, has a certain harbor of safety, secure against the ordinary ills of life. But to manage a household, have a desirable influence in society, keep her friends and the affections of her husband, train her children and servants well, she must have rare common sense, wisdom, diplomacy, and a knowledge of human nature. To do all this she needs the cardinal virtues and the strong points of character that the most successful statesman possesses.”
Taking responsibility for your life is empowering
“Nothing strengthens the judgment and quickens the conscience like individual responsibility. Nothing adds such dignity to character as the recognition of one’s self-sovereignty; the right to an equal place, everywhere conceded; a place earned by personal merit, not an artificial attainment, by inheritance, wealth, family, and position.”
Even if protected, a person faces “fierce storms of life”
“The talk of sheltering woman from the fierce storms of life is the sheerest mockery, for they beat on her from every point of the compass, just as they do on man, and with more fatal results, for he has been trained to protect himself, to resist, to conquer.”
Identity politics don’t matter in the realm of self
“Rich and poor, intelligent and ignorant, wise and foolish, virtuous and vicious, man and woman, it is ever the same, each soul must depend wholly on itself.”
Making yourself a stronger, smarter person is necessary for survival and self-respect
“But when all artificial trammels are removed, and women are recognized as individuals, responsible for their own environments, thoroughly educated for all positions in life they may be called to fill; with all the resources in themselves that liberal thought and broad culture can give; guided by their own conscience and judgment; trained to self-protection by a healthy development of the muscular system and skill in the use of weapons of defense, and stimulated to self-support by a knowledge of the business world and the pleasure that pecuniary independence must ever give; when women are trained in this way they will, in a measure, be fitted for those hours of solitude that come alike to all, whether prepared or otherwise.”
Equal opportunity for all, mothafuckas!
“The chief reason for opening to every soul the doors to the whole round of human duties and pleasures is the individual development thus attained, the resources thus provided under all circumstances to mitigate the solitude that at times must come to everyone.”
“We see reason sufficient in the outer conditions of human beings for individual liberty and development, but when we consider the self-dependence of every human soul we see the need of courage, judgment, and the exercise of every faculty of mind and body, strengthened and developed by use, in woman as well as man.”
It’s overflowing with the most beautiful three- to four-word sentences I’ve ever read. I want to wear Lauren Groff’s writing around me like a silk robe.
A masterpiece of innovative narrative structure, “Fates and Furies” is broken into two sections. First, we meet the husband of a marriage. Second, we grow to understand his complicated wife. The revelations unfold like a flower in bloom, and it all moves so quickly, as if you are in a dream, and I could write a 10-page English lit paper on its symbolic use of birds, land, and water. This one will hurt when I finish because that means there’s no more “Fates and Furies” left to read.
Bracket copy sprinkled throughout. Insights from the muses. The fates themselves. Brilliant.
The book is a few years old, but it called to me like a siren from a bookshelf in the basement of the State Street Macy’s. I was dicking around while Justin tried on tracksuits, because this is 32.
Groff’s newest book, “Florida,” came out in June. So guess what will be on my list of books to read in September?
Take the bus up to Lincoln Park for aggression release by way of Bad Axe Throwing
Take a million photos of you and the axe that you landed in the bullseye because it’s pretty much guaranteed you will not even hit the board after you do that no matter how many times you try (No? Just me?)
Get a glazed donut at Stan’s, because battle axe throwing is tiring
Watch a movie at Century theater, located in the same building as axe throwing (This has proven to be our go-to ending for #The10to10 days. Perhaps we were a bit ambitious trying to stay out and about for 12 hours straight. We’re always beat the next day. So, spending the last two hours in a dark air conditioned theater has proven an excellent decision. This time we watched “Leave No Trace.” I cried a lot and am recommending it to everyone now, including you.)
P.P.S. If you want to play with lo-class dice like ours, just shoot me a message! We can send you a pair in your fave color: red, brown, purple, blue, or green.
I keep listening to this speech by writer James Clear from the 2017 Craft + Commerce conference. In it, he gives great advice for staying productive throughout the work week. For example, he has his assistant change his social media passwords every Monday so he can’t log in (and, thus, be totally distracted) until the weekend. I know most of us don’t have personal assistants, but we do have opposable thumbs that can turn off our phones during precious writing hours. But the most meaningful aspect of his talk is how succinctly he puts something we all know instinctually but don’t act on realistically: If you get 1% better at whatever you’re working on every day, you’re going to be in a much better place after a year has passed.
Whenever I get down on myself about not accomplishing enough in regards to a pressing deadline whose harbor I’m about to crash into, I remember this speech and I’ll ask myself, “Am I 1% closer to my goal? Is what I did today 1% better than what I did yesterday?” The answers are usually yes and yes. And that’s a win.
What are you doing today to make yourself 1% better or push your project 1% forward?
From Jennifer R. Hubbard’s essay “What’s This Doing to My Brain?” Creative Nonfiction Magazine, Spring 2018.
“We now routinely interact with one another in ways that were impossible for most of human history. Kenneth Goldsmith goes even further than Heffernan in celebrating cyberspace, finding the handwringing of naysayers to be overwrought. In Wasting Time on the Internet, Goldsmith contends that the web is social, not antisocial; after all, we communicate through it. As for fears of shrinking attention spans, he argues, ‘When I look around me and see people riveted to their devices, I’ve never seen such a great wealth of concentration, focus, and engagement.'”
Sears closing. Sears rebranding? Tarot table cards at a taco joint. So many synonyms! What goodies await in your community mailbox? I found a dinosaur.
On the way to my dentist appointment. At my dentist appointment. They were playing, of all things, Deep Blue Sea. That lyric is my new favorite Most Ridiculous Lyric Without Any Context.
It’s been one year since leaving my full-time job as a copywriter at an agency to work as a freelance writer M-F/24/7.
The gig life isn’t for everyone. It requires a lot of speed, adaptability, and discipline. Oh, and contacts. I’m so grateful for the network of contacts and connections I’ve made at full-time jobs before now; they’ve supplied me with the majority of my assignments this past year.
As the freelance/ remote work life becomes more and more feasible, especially for those of us in creative or tech-driven fields, I get a lot of questions from friends and colleagues about how it’s been going. Do I like it? How do I find jobs? Would I recommend it?
Here are three things I tell all of them.
It’s the best work-life-balance move I’ve ever made.
I used to worry about work and, more specifically, money all the time. It was a constant stressor. That’s common, but I think it was exacerbated by the 2008 financial crisis. I graduated from college that year, and though I got a job in my field immediately following my big cap and gown moment, it was a really nerve-wracking time. I watched so many friends struggle to find work in what they had studied (and were now trying to pay tens of thousands of dollars for). I watched my industry (journalism) crumble as job opportunity dried up. The stress made me sacrifice everything for work, including my health, my time, everything.
Because of all of that insecurity, in which the reality of drowning seemed mere days away, I’ve always tried to have multiple streams of income. While I was a journalist, I worked second and third jobs to pay off my student loans and, let’s be honest, simply pay my rent.
I think I’ve mentally needed those multiple streams of income, even after moving into marketing, paying off my student loans, and finally starting making contributions to my savings account. Freelance has given me a chance to relax. Ironically, not having a full time traditional job has made me less concerned about my future of having one.
Worry doll be worryin’. Justin got me Guatemalan worry dolls as a gift during our first Christmas together years ago. He was all, “Um, yeah, you worry all the time and it makes me worry about you. Are you ok? Merry Christmas?”
I feel like I now have more peace of mind in knowing that if the economy fails or if the job market I’ve chosen faces an unforeseeable blow (ie. if changing net neutrality rules limit the need for web content, thus drying up a lot of my freelance assignments), I’ve got the education and experience to be valuable to all kinds of employers.
That’s not just because of freelance; part of it’s related to age and adding notches of experience to my work belt. But as a freelance writer, I gain a comprehensive skill set. I’m able to write for an entire range of industries, work with companies of all sizes, and learn myriad project management and CMS tools instead of simply the ones my current employer operates with. I’m learning industry-standard work across every industry.
I feel really confident in my ability to land on my feet in the future. Because I have to land on my feet everyday as a freelancer.
It’s not always easy. Some days I have to work 16 hours, especially if assignments overlap. And on days like that, I have to really stay on top of myself to stay mentally focused on each task—because each job requires and deserves my best work, no matter what.
It’s worth it. Every. Time. With Justin working nights as a stand-up comedian, freelance work allows me to be flexible with when I work during the day (unless, of course, I have a meeting or deadline in the day). I can travel with him as he commutes to out-of-state gigs, using my phone’s hotspot in the car. It’s freed up time to work on my creative writing, too, which is enough to have made this all worth it. Not having to commute to an office saves me at least two hours a day. That’s two hours I now put into personal writing projects.
I feel more in control of myself than ever before. I feel in charge of my destiny, not beholden to a job market or one person at the top of the work food chain. I’m technically not working for myself. I’m not my own boss. But I am my own director. I choose what I do or don’t take on and have to live with those choices. I decide how much to take on. I determine how successful or unsuccessful I am. And all of that makes me work harder. Better. More creatively. Freelance is freedom for people who crave independence.
And I’m not so terrified of work anymore. Which, go figure, makes me even better at it.
Get organized now.
Clean your workspace. Set up a file system. Buy a better, faster computer. Whatever you need to do to make the workflow happen like a well-oiled machine, do it. And do it before you book your first job.
Start documents for the following items and save them to your bookmark bar now:
A to do list with items and breaks broken down by the hour. Make it a Google doc so you can access and update it anywhere. My to do list is my bff. The night before a work day, I track everything I have to do tomorrow—and I’m really specific about the tasks. Specificity makes it easier to get myself motivated to get into it (bird by bird, baby girl), and the smallness of each task simultaneously makes me see the bigger picture so I can be realistic about how much time a project will need committed to it. I also schedule blocks of time just for writing. It’s hard to get in the flow that writing requires if I am bouncing in between emails, interview, or meetings. I block out three to four hours a day to do nothing but write. All the administrative tasks have to take place around that. Make the time, respect the time. Namaste.
A tax doc. Record all payments that have taxes taken out and those that don’t. I save 35% of each check that doesn’t have taxes taken out and put it into savings. While you’re at it, hire an accountant now. I also track my expenses and invoice numbers/links on this spreadsheet as their own pages.
A running list of assignments and hours. Google Cal is my dream man. Get yours organized now and consider signing up for time-saving apps like Calendly if you schedule a lot of meetings. I also keep a spreadsheet of all the assignments I’ve taken on in the calendar year and all the deadlines I have coming up. In each row I track contact information for the job, tax info, check numbers or direct deposit account dates, deadlines, dates I turned the assignment in, links to the final document and associated interview transcripts, and even the subject line of the email conversation with the employer so that it’s easy to search in my Gmail inbox. I keep the link to this spreadsheet at the top of my to do list doc so it’s easy to reference on my phone, too.
Be honest about whether you’re ready for this.
I tried freelancing full time about five years ago, when I left the journalism field. It didn’t work. Not because I wasn’t willing to work hard; it didn’t work because I wasn’t ready for it yet. I needed to beef up my skill set with a traditional employer. I needed to make more contacts. I needed more experience. I needed to get better at writing and managing my time. I needed to confirm that writing was my dream career.
You’re risking a lot of financial stability when you go freelance, and if you’re not ready for it yet, you’re going to be hurting fast. I started down this full-time path only a year ago, and that was after almost five years of working the freelance hustle and building up my own business on the side of my full time job. I also waited until I had paid off my student loans and had enough saved to pay off our wedding. I know it’s easier to live this way, too, because Justin and I don’t have children. I can work a 16-hour day guilt free because I don’t have anyone’s little heart dependent on my attention.
Freelancing, working remotely, living that gig life can also be a little lonely. If you’re an extrovert who gets creative and professional energy off being around other talented people, this might not be for you. I’m an introvert with extrovert tendencies, so I find myself eagerly awaiting human contact via video conference calls. But only occasionally. For the most part, I write better when I’m alone.
I know how privileged and lucky I am to get to live this lifestyle. It’s involved a lot of good timing (landing the right jobs before this, making the right contacts, building genuine connections with people) and universe-given talent (shout-out to whatever muse makes my writing bones dance whenever I come-a-knockin’ on ’em). But I’ve also worked really, really hard at a long game to get here. You can as well, even if it’s not a gig life. I hope you find the work situation that is best for you—so you’re not just working, you’re living too.
For our first edition of #The10to10, I picked a red die and rolled an 8, so to Grand we went.
I was a little bummed at first when we rolled Grand because we’ve already been down in the heart of Chicago. A lot. I was kinda hoping our first fate-driven adventure would launch us into parts unknown. But Grand turned out to be the best starter pack! We still found lots of great stuff we’d never seen before, and since it’s a hot stop for tourists, we got a crash course in Chicago’s history and greatest hits.
Here’s what we found.
GRAND RED LINE STOP
Fuel up with a prime beef sandwich and Italian sodas at Eataly marketplace
Visit City Gallery in the historic water tower (There’s also the Loyola University Museum of Art nearby. It’s free to visit, as is the City Gallery in the bottom of the iconic water tower.)
Visit 360 Chicago, the observation deck in John Hancock Tower (Chicago residents get in half price! Woohoo, tax dollars!)
Do the 360 Chicago Tilt (If you dare… I have already blacked out most of this terrifying experience of being tilted out 94 floors above Chicago)
Pick up tacos to eat at home while you rest your feet and write to your reading-age niece and nephew on the postcards you picked up at Hancock’s gift shop 🙂
P.P.S. If you want to play with lo-class dice like ours, just shoot me a message! We can send you a pair in your fave color: red, brown, purple, blue, or green.
Summer in Chicago is renowned for being the reason so many of us who live here are willing to put up with its insane wind tunnels, lake effect snow, and polar vortexes. Spending a day chilling on a Chicago beach, with the iconic skyline floating on the horizon through the sunny, lazy haze? It’s living the dream.
This + you in a bikini = Summer Forever.
And now that SUMMMMMERRRRR 2018 has finally arrived, Justin and I came up with a game to help us get out and explore our city. Actually, just Justin came up with the game because “making life fun” is his number one contribution and responsibility to our marriage.
Because he’s excellent at it.
Case and point: This new game #The10to10.
Here’s how #The10to10 works:
Choose an L train line and number the stops you’d like to explore as 2 through 12.
Roll the dice.* Add up your numbers. And at 10 a.m., take the L to the stop that corresponds with that number on your map from Step 1.
Start your journey there. Don’t come home until 10 p.m.
* We got a few sets of colored dice to represent the color of the L train lines we want to explore: the blue, red, and brown lines. We blindly draw a die out of a bag. Whatever color die we draw determines the train line. Then we roll two dice to get our stop number in Step 2.
Here’s our #The10to10 map. You can see how we numbered the stations.
We’re pumped to dig into some neighborhoods deeper than we already have and visit some we’ve never really hung out in before. So many times we end up going to a neighborhood for just one destination and then head back home.
But you know you have to stay a while, get your hands and feet and soles a little dirty, to find the b-e-s-t, gemstone-in-an-alleyway kinds of spots. When you spend a lot of time just walking around somewhere, you truly get to know a place. And I think we’ve finally decided we want to truly get to know this place. Plus Chicago, the city of neighborhoods, has so much potential for adventure.
We’re doing our first #The10to10 today! Follow us on Instagram @jackiemantey and @justingolak to see where we end up and what we find.
P.P.S. If you want to play with lo-class dice (like ours below), just shoot me a message! We can send you a pair of dice in your fave color: red, brown, purple, blue, or green.
Perfect for melty hot days, when you need a pop of color that won’t dry out. It looks much more natural than a lipstick and keeps your kisser smooth. More color ways here.
